Paris of the Far East

The Fashions of Tomorrow. Today.

Speed Lubricant.

Glamour Queen of the Continent Lubes.

Girl Friend.

Don't you wish your clothing store

was closed like me?

Don't you?

McGangbang

Today I accomplished something extraordinary. I ingested

the first McGangbang in China. I was almost brought to 

tears when I unwrapped it and laid my eye upon its greatness.

I tore into it with great vengeance and furious anger. People

at the McDonald's looked at me weird which was A) because

I was eating a McGangbang and B) I looked like a hamburger

desperado.

For those of you who need to be caught up to speed:

http://www.eatmedaily.com/2009/03/the-mcgangbang-a

-mcchicken-sandwich-inside-a-double-cheeseburger/

OBAMMUNISM.

Obama is to China as Ernesto "Che" Guevara is to America.

Face + Commodity = $ales

Yay or Nay?

Commie MIG Fighter Helmet. 160RMB ($23.44USD) before

negotiation. The helmet fits, albeit snugly, on my huge head. 

There are two visors, a clear one and tinted one (shown). 

Both Visors are retractable and it comes in all the colors

you see here, plus Camo with a red star. 

It would make a killer bike helmet for riding around both

Shanghai and Rochester. 

So, Shanghai Crushin' Nation, do I make the purchase?

If so, which color?

Baoshan Electronics Market.

My personal Toy Store. Every special edition video game

ever released in the Asian Market only. Pink PSP's, Gundam

Nintendo DS, Passport to Amsterdam UMD. All at a reduced

price. All prices negotiable. 

All Awesome.

iClone Mini.

Half the Size. Half the Price. None of the Functionality.

Breakfast in Living Room.

Jacqui made some Betty Crocker Pancakes and we had

dinner in the living room. Nice to take a break from 2RMB

"Bowza" for breakfast. Our frying pan is not coated in teflon

so the pancakes stuck and we do not have a spatula, only 

a wooden spoon. Having said that, the added crispiness was

a welcome addition.

The fact that Shanghai does not sell Syrup, was not.

Konghui Super-Maket.

Super implies more than 60 Square Ft.

Maket is spelled with an "R".

In the Event of a Fire.

Do not put spaces in between words.

Because that takes too long to read.

Wanted.

Dead or Alive.

or Both.

This Chick.

She dug my Mustache. 

And I cannot blame her.

Two Part Post: Fake Hummer/Youth In Asia 5

Part A) The Chinese translation of this cars name is 

"Crazy Soldier". Also, the wheels have been Camo'd too.

Part B) This kid did not hesitate to duck the velvet rope

to have his picture taken next to the fake "Hanma". The

Kid is pretty brave considering that the only thing holding

this 6,000+ lb car on a 30 degree incline are two wedges

made of plywood that held together with tacks. That and a

good old Chinese Engineered(Copied) Emergency Brake.

A word to justify this picture.

No I did not take this picture because it involves cute girls

backsides/legs. I took the image because of the reaction 

on the 13 peoples faces that are taking the ladies pictures.

And how the girl on the right is standing on a stack of books

to fill out the "Model Height".

Godzilla.

While the Cut-Away diorama is both neat and informative,

I cringe to think that there is one less Godzilla on earth 

because somebody at Nissan wanted to be cute with a 

Sawzall.

How to sell cars in China:

1) Small

2) Cute

3) Cheap

4) Put an 8 foot partition the car and the People.

5) Awkwardly Proportioned.

6)Profit?

Times New Roman.

While your serifs disgust me, the 

familiarity that is accompanied with

your sighting is warm like cuddling.

Fiesta Piñata

Hanging large colorful

things from string makes

me instinctually desire 

to swing a bat at it 

blindfolded. 

Only for Flood Prevention.

Rubbish: Part Deux.

Shanghai International Expo Center.

World's Largest Trash Can.

Lamborghini LP-670 SuperVeloce

Ill Car. It brings Lamborghini back to 

that 1980's-1990's Countach/Diablo

madness. Lamborghinis have been,

with the exception of the Reventon,

on the tame side. Don't get me wrong

they look amazing, but without weird

exposed carbon fiber, ludicrous wings

and chin-splitters. 

There is a story that accompanies this 

too. So, the show was extremely crowded.

Probably in the 400,000's at the expo just

on Saturday. Well, somebody decided it 

would be a grand idea to stick Jaguar,

Ferrari, Lamborghini, Lotus, Bentley, 

Rolls Royce and Stile Bertone in the 

same room. In true Italian Car Company

fashion, the brands took up twice the 

space as a normal manufacturer to display

two cars with 15 feet of border around 

them. When all these exotic brands are

put together in one room, that 

dramatically reduces the walking spaces

for exhibition goers. Tie this fact in with 

the average Shanghai-ers lover for shiny

expensive things, the room was packed 

solid with people. I was all fine an good

with this fact, just pinballing into the 

crowd and moving slowly around the 

room when something inside me snapped.

All of the pushing on the subways, in stores,

on the street and at the Motor Show got 

to me. I am physically larger than 90% of 

the people, but my up bringing has instilled

in me a courtesy to every human being I 

encounter. It dawned on me that getting

walked on was doing me a disservice as I

would not be getting the full Shanghai

Experience. So, every basketball/football/

hockey lesson I ever received shot out of

me like some uncaged animal. I "Moses-ed"

the sea of Chinese people in front of me and

before I knew it I was front row center for 

a viewing of this magnificent machine.

The scary thing is I sort of got some sick

pleasure out of it.

I look forward to pushing again.

Honda.

They keep using this paint on their concept vehicles. The 

CR-Z concept from Detroit used the same White/Purple

pearlescent color. 

And I don't mind that.

We Are the One.

Who uses the font Rosewood Std. in a professional setting?

Staff Only.

Nice Lights.

Top: Honda Fit

Bottom: Geely ig Concept.

The Geely Concept was clown shoes. It was a 3 Seater 1

Door City Car. The one door was on the Right Side and

was a Gull Wing configuration. One Seat in the front 

biased to the right (even though you drive on the left

in China) and 2 seats in the rear. 

Clown shoes.

Bitchin' Camaro.

There were people lined up 6 deep to take pictures of it. 

They all called it "Turans-foma Cah". After being exposed

to the Camaro and its onslaught of marketing for the last

3 years, the car seems pedestrian.

Those three years didn't seem to slow down the Chinese.

Roewe

A Chinese only car manufacturer that, as far as I can tell,

now owns the rights to MG. I heard they have plans to 

bring the mark back to the UK which is funny. 

The cars were decent. Like all intellectual properties in

China, a lot of ideas are "borrowed". Lots of Lexus and

Volkswagen.

Does not mean they were not dope.

Well, ok, it kind of does.

Leaning on the Door.

It's Prohibited.

Last Minute Gift Ideas:

As many of you may be aware, my 22nd birthday is

steadfastly approaching. While I will most certainly

be 9000ish miles away from most of you, I will not

be having a party. However, this does not absolve you

from your "gift-ly" duties. While I do not want to be

pushy nor do I want to commercialize the birthing 

day celebrations. On the contrary I would encourage

creative license on your journey of picking out my

perfect gift. For those of you in need of motivation, 

here are a few ideas:

1st Image: Vans Supercorsa (Ireland Edition)

2nd Image: Rapha Fixed Shorts

3rd Image: The Rapha Cap (Black/Pink)

4th Image: Rapha Arm Warmers

5th Image: Cadence Collection Agenda

Towers.

Shanghai does not have a Skyline per se.

The pictures I have posted recently are 

all of the Pudong district across the

Huangpu River from Puxi. Shanghais

skyline is not so much a line as it is an

endless expanse of 20-40 story 

apartment buildings. 40 Stories loaded 

up with air conditioners spewing out 

exhausted refrigerant. Lovely.

Breathe it in.

Trash Talk.

My written chinese is not very 

strong but I am pretty sure this

translates to:

"Warning: Oscar the Grouch lives

here!"

Table Soccer.

I guess calling it Table Soccer instead of FooseBall is not 

too weird. The weird thing to me is that they play 2 on 2.

They are almost too good at it.

Room with a View.

The view from my desk at TEAMS.

Ladies and Gentlemen:

I give you, Harry Wang.