Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Bike Polo.

So, this is a continuation of the last post. Blogger has been
touchy (what with all the work-arounds I am using ) and 
I have not been able to post until today. So, Bike Polo was
pretty fun. Remarkably Chinese in the sense that it was 
pretty much half thought out and cheap. We used an empty
parking lot next to an ice rink (half way though, the Zamboni
came though and dumped a mound of ice onto the court). 
The mallets are in no way uniform as they are all home 
made by different people. There was a moderate mix of
expats and locals. Throughout its entirety there was a
sizable crowd of locals who were checking up on us. Fun
was had by all and afterwards, I still managed to make 
it home all the way across Shanghai at night safely. 


The top gentleman is Mace, an Australian expat who was 
completely nuts when it came to Polo. On several occasions
he dove head first over handle bars at an attempt to score.

The blurry gentleman is Tyler, he is the guy who spearheaded
the Bike Polo league. You can tell he genuinely enjoys playing.

Don't get me wrong, I like playing it, but not enough to bike 
half way across Shanghai at night 3 times a week. 

Saturday, May 23, 2009

This is my Bicycle.

There are many like it, but this one is mine.
By Bicycle is my best friend. It is my life. I
must master it as I master my life. My bicycle,
without me, is useless. Without my Bicycle, I
am useless. I must ride my bicycle true. I must
ride faster than my enemy who is trying to 
overtake me. I must outpace him before he 
outpaces me.  I will...

There are two things you will take from this
blog entry. 

1) I was on my bike yesterday from 11:15am to
10:10pm. I rode to the other side of Shanghai 
and back. 

2)While out I found Full Metal Jacket for 2 RMB 
and watched as I rested my legs. 

Friday, May 22, 2009


I was a little concerned about Ratatat because their recorded
music was so mellow I couldn't really imagine how their show
would be live. Luckily, all they really had to do was turn up
the bass, double the tempo and just be generally badass head
banging New Yorkers. Their stuff really impressed me live.
I was disappointed, however, by the lack of conversation betwixt
their songs. The only time anyone said anything was after the 
first song, the long haired dude said "Hi Shanghai" with WAY to
much reverb on his mic. He sounded really strung out as his
message echoed through the Dream Factory. This pleased the

They also prepared visual stimulants for each of their songs which
were projected on the wall behind them. The long haired one took
great delight in "Air Humping" any face that might appear on the 

Decent Show.

AV Okubo

The second band all came out on stage with disposable
respirators on with "H1N1" written on them. Those lasted
about 2 songs before the singer realized that it hindered 
his ability to sing. They were all local and sang in both
mandarin and english. The big play was when he pulled out
Mao Zedong's "Little Red Book" and began reading it into
a megaphone into the microphone. 

That got the hipsters going.

The Youth and the Destroyer

Local band with a mix of Expats, Local Chinese. The singer
never took her hood off and was drenched in sweat by the 
end of their set. They sung in english, not that their music 
was in anyway understandable. 

The Asian Girl Drummer reminded me of the girl from the

Zhijiang Dream Factory

Interesting venue. Relatively small room, 
packed with sweaty hipster expats. 

That disco ball was mesmerizing.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

All my Friends are Magazines.

There were a bunch of these guys laying around
the common table. I made this dude because he 
reminded me of a caveman Piccolo. 

With Purple Elvis Hair.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Tunnel Vision.

I am over the half way mark and all I can see is the finish line.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Distribution of Wealth.

Some people have priorities.

Some people exploit the largest labor force
in the world to buy phantoms. 

This thing was impressive.

Looking for a good time?

Call: 13164888754

Red Light Go.

Tagged on a elevated highway support.

Crooked Teeth.

That kid's going to need some braces.


Not something you see often advertised.

How Embarrassing.

I had read somewhere that there are
over 30,000 Chinese employed by the
government in Beijing. There only 
goal is maintain the Great Firewall
of China and ensure the evils of the
West (i.e. Youtube, pornography) do
not corrupt the People's Republic. 
This weekend, they added Blogger
to their list of evils. You may have
noticed I did not post at all over the
last weekend and that is because I
simply did not have access. Well, it
took a 22 year old expat all of 2 days
to leap frog the aforementioned Great
FireWall of China and start posting
blogs bandit, Reynolds Style.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Day 101

I found these sweet SunDrop Gummy Candies.

New Landmarks:
101 Days
300 Blog Posts
5000+ Blog Views

Sunday, May 10, 2009




The Need of Your Life.

Hey Hey,

We're the Monkees, people say we monkey

The guy on the bottom had his arm out 
stretched, but refused to accept any food
byproducts offered by passing visitors. I
hypothesize that he was only looking for
a high five.

But I was not about to give it to him.


Nerd Joke.

Danger Danger.

High Voltage

I really just liked the colors, so I took the

Panda. Monium.

It was pretty hot out today, so the Pandas
were indoors. Needless to say, there was
a substantial crowd clamoring for a shot
of this majestic beast. I had a few nicer
shots of the panda itself, but I chose this
image for the blog because A) it captured
the mood of the room , that being a frantic
room filled with people taking pictures of a 
few pandas lazing about, elbows jettisoning 
out into frames as autofocuses get confused
and select the wrong subject and B) it clearly 
displays how much taller I am than the average 
Chinese person.

Plus, blurry panda = cute panda

CCS Love.

My Alma Mater.

College for Creative Studies
The Screamin' Peacocks.

Mark My Words,

This will NOT end well.


Safety Guaranteed.

Swan Song.

I saw a sign in the sky: Seven Swans Seven Swans Seven Swans

Love me,

Don't feed me.

Shanghai Zoo: Regional Map.

In case the elevated frequency of animal related posts have 
not tipped you off, today I went to the Shanghai Zoo. Near 
the entrance they had this map of China with all of the 
animals that the zoo housed in the respective region in
which said animals are indigenous. 

Dank Map.


Sediment/Reptile Composition.

Geometric Growth.

This structure was erected over a walkway
between the Aquarium and the Reptile

Chinese Sturgeon.

Massive Fish. Murky Tank.

Adventures in Mass Transit: Bus

Pros: 2RMB will get you anywhere in Shanghai

Cons: No english anywhere that might inform 
the rider where they are, where they are going
or where they have been.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Lamein Noodles.

I thought you guys might like to see my noodles
being made. This guy is pretty cool, he does all
the Lamein throwing. 

Rad Dude.

Ryan gets a Haircut in Sign Language.

It is starting to get ridiculously hot out
and my hair was starting to get out of 
control so I nervously went to go get 
my hair cut. As I entered the Barber
Shop I was greeted by 3 girls that spoke
to me in Chinese and then giggled when
I said "Ting Bu Dong" (I don't understand)
and proceeded to make a haircutting gesture
with my index and middle fingers. They
kindly directed me to a seat where I was
given the following services. 

Neck Massage
Scalp Massage
Head Scratching
Ear Cleaning
Neck Massage (Again)
Hair Cut
A Pomegranate Juice
Straight Shave
Blow Dry

I was pretty nervous as half of the staff
surrounded me to watch the westerner
get his hair cut. The girl who did the 
cutting had the same hair as Linda from
the movie "The Wedding Singer", which
did nothing to calm my nerves. When all
was said and done, I had a really weird 
Tony Danza from "Who's the Boss" hair
cut. I was directed to the counter where
I was given the price for the above services.

15RMB. That is just a few cents north of 
2USD. Let that register. In America you
would be stretched to find Pomegranate 
Juice for 2 dollars. And, after I left I did
my swoopy thing and my hair was fine

I also shaved my mustache but I am not 
ready to drop that bomb on you, so I
photoshop'd one on.


There is love in this foreign land.


Always leash your chickens. 


Nicer when it is not in color. Crunchy Texture.


More Signage.

*le sigh*

Wedding Fire Crackers.

On my walk today, I passed a wedding celebration. There
was about 25 minutes of fire crackers followed by a precession
of one Chrysler 300C leading 9 Skoda Octavias. After everyone
left, one lady came out to sweep up 25 minutes of fire cracker


Somebody Help.

This fire hydrant is drowning in all of 
that sidewalk.


Buddies is the equivalent of 7-11.

24 hour convenience.